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With This Ring, I Thee...What?

You never know when you might stumble on to true love…whether it’s yours or someone else's

Last week, I was jogging around the with Huckleberry stumbling over stumps and into serendipity; or so it seemed. When we came to a fork in the trail, I started to the left, but Huck wanted to go right. Even though it would add another ten minutes to the run, I decided to humor the beagle. As we were crossing one of the little bridges, I discovered Huck’s motivation to go right: a beautiful female hound mix. She stood still on the bridge, staring at us. Huck excitedly charged into her, knocking her into the creek below. He’s super slick like that. 

I stifled a giggle at the sight of a very unimpressed female hound swimming back to the end of the bridge and started to apologize for my dog’s exuberance. I looked up and locked eyes with a dashing man in Carhartts and flannel. I immediately stopped in my tracks, completely losing my train of thought. He didn’t seem to notice and just smiled as he pulled some cheese out of his pocket for the dogs.

At the sight of the cheese, Huckleberry moved in to make friends. I agreed with him and also moved in to make friends. We started walking together and talking. I learned he trained his hound to hunt with him and he learned I trained mine to dress up as a bumble bee and watch Grey’s Anatomy with me. I learned he made homemade chicken wings for football games and he learned that I never waited for cupcakes to cool properly before frosting them.

He had a great smile, an easy laugh and a well-trained dog.  I tried not to get ahead of myself, but I found my mind wandering. I pictured him building me a cabin in the woods, coming home after a long day hunting and warming his flannel-clothed rear by the fire as I adeptly exercised my culinary prowess to cook the wild game. I made a mental note to Google recipes for duck and venison as soon as I got home.

My fairy tale was suddenly shattered, however, when he finally pulled his hands out of his pockets and I saw a wedding ring.

I must have made a face. I’m terrible at masking my emotions and I couldn’t stop looking at the ring. He shoved his hand back into his pocket and casually mentioned his wife.

I smiled and said I needed to finish my jog. I casually called for Huck to follow me and took off at a dead sprint.  I knew Huckleberry was staying near the man with the cheese, but I didn’t look back.

Huckleberry caught up with me in the parking lot and we drove home, leaving the handsome married huntsman and dreams of our cabin in the woods in the dust.

At work the next day, I swapped horror stories with some coworkers. One of my girl friends told me about being approached by two men at a club, both wearing wedding bands. When she pointed out the fact that they were married, they scurried off to the bathroom and removed their rings.  I was appalled.

One of my single male counterparts, however, told me not to judge so quickly. He had been advised to go out wearing a ring because in theory he’d get more attention from women. My jaw dropped when I heard this theory. All I could say was, “What kind of women are you hoping to attract with a wedding band?” He explained that some single men use a wedding ring and a fabricated heartbreak story to get girls.

Are there really people who think that a wedding ring symbolizes some stamp of approval? As if to say, “Clearly, this guy can’t be all bad because some girl married him?” I felt sick to my stomach at the thought. I told my friend he’d only attract vultures and poachers. He didn’t understand, so I explained that poaching was: the art of breaking up a relationship and taking your share of the spoils and my personal feelings about it.

Then, I recommend he read the Ladies’ Home Journal  because they published an interesting article about poaching  and why it’s a terrible idea.

Still, I hear more and more people say they receive more attention from members of the opposite sex when they wear a ring. I wonder why – and if it’s worth a little trip to Tiffany & Co. next weekend?

RONALD M GOLDWYN February 06, 2012 at 12:33 PM
Lindsay, By war I mean a woman is fighting for her Husband or her boyfriend in the normal sense. As some woman don't care if the man is married. Alls fair in love and war is the expression I believe.
RONALD M GOLDWYN February 06, 2012 at 12:45 PM
In my Dating days, it was improper for girls to call a boy for a date except on Sadie Hawkins day. Good girls were virgins, and wore gloves. Slacks were worn on snowy days only and bars had Women's entrances. Yes, society's rules have changed in the past 50 years, but as you say it may be off-subject as it has nothing to do with wearing a wedding ring.
Steph February 06, 2012 at 10:54 PM
I think it might be more important to say, none of us ever claimed to be "good girls" just "good catches" and with out a little bit of salt and vinegar these days to balance out the sugar and spice (that we all still have), we would never be able to stand on our own two feet. Its easy for Mr. Goldwyn to blame it on the women no longer being the "good girls" but lets face it, good guys don't really exist in the same form as they did in "his day" either. I'm not sure if this will actually post as I'm at sea doing what he would probably consider a mans job. But, I can still be sweet, take care of a home, a family and be just as good and womanly as anyone from his day, with just a bit more spunk. Our generation, not such a bad thing :) I like your articles, its nice to know someone else is going through the trials and tribulations of the dating scene. And as someone who was abused and taken advantage of, forced to support a man, I want to find Mr. Goldwyn, remove my glove from my dainty fingers and give him a good whack of 2012...just sayin' No offense Mr. Goldwyn, but I think it best to give a good look at society as a whole and not just the changes in women. Yes, we've come along way, but society has morphed in a direction that I am unable to argue is either good or bad.
patriot76 February 07, 2012 at 02:57 AM
i've been married 24 years, same woman, 3 kids. when out with friends i see how they approach women AND how women approach them. there seems to be just as many bad boys as there are girls. sometimes the girls are worse. i'm with you Ron, but i'm affraid marraige is not for everyone. some of our friends are serial marry'ers (not sure if thats a word) and are on their third. i've seen friends date for a year and marry for six months. you have to really believe in love to make the commitment, and believe the vows you make, then man up (or woman up).
Michelle Petroccio February 09, 2012 at 04:14 PM
Maureen, I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed this story. Part of me was sad for you, and the other part of me was so glad that you are a woman of concience. I have been with my husband for nearly 18 years and we have 4 great kids. I find that both makes and feamale are easily attracted ti people who wear a wedding ring becuse we are safe flirtations from time to time. It's nice to be noticed! However, there have been times when one of us hasn't had a ring on because it was at the jewelers being sized or repaired or taken off to be cleaned or during cleaning or cooking, and then just simply forgotten to be put back on when leaving for somewhere in a hurry. This has raised eyebrows and questions from mutual friends, and always "is everything okay with you guys"? I actually had a friend ask my husband one time where his wedding ring was. People caN BE QUITE QUIRKY SOMETIMES!

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