Criteria for Psychological Abuse – Part 2 – Terrorizing

Criteria for Psychological Abuse – Part 2 – Terrorizing

Taken from Chapter 5 in my book, Where Did I Go Wrong? How Did I Miss The Signs?  Dealing with Hostile Aggressive Parenting and Parental Alienation.

The Alienator as Terrorist

IS THERE A Terrorist in the Home who is Establishing Fear, Anguish, and Apprehension in the Children?

            What do you call it when a parent or person instills such fear and hatred in a child that he/she is afraid to love their other parent?  What do you call it when a parent uses condescending words and actions to describe the other parent to the point of creating fear of that Targeted Parent?  What do you call it when a parent threatens to not love a child if the child shows any love, compassion or feelings for the other parent?  I call it Parental Alienation or Hostile Aggressive Parenting, but someone else might call this Terrorism.

Terrorism: the word strikes fear in most people’s hearts.  But what is the actual definition of Terrorism?  According to Encarta World English Dictionary, it is:

ter·ror·ism n

violence or the threat of violence, especially bombing, kidnapping, and assassination, carried out for political purposes.

The synonyms for Terrorism are not better: Violence, intimidation, terror campaign and bombing.  Wow, some pretty strong words.  And what about the word Terrorist?  What does it mean?

ter·ror·ist n

somebody who uses violence or the threat of violence, especially bombing, kidnapping, and assassination, to intimidate, often for political purposes.

And what about the word Terror? This is a strong one, too.

ter·ror n

1.   intense or overwhelming fear

2.   violence or the threat of violence carried out for political purposes

3.   something such as an event or situation that causes intense fear

4.   an annoying, difficult, or unpleasant person, particularly a naughty child (informal)

Encarta® World English Dictionary © 1999 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. Developed for Microsoft by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc.

Parental Alienation utilizes all of these tactics and more.  There are threats of violence if a child does not follow the parent's orders.  There is fear that the Alienating Parent will no longer love them if he/she does not follow the parent’s orders and there is fear of being treated just like the Targeted Parent by the alienator.  A child’s mind is kidnapped and held hostage under the guise of love, honor and just reward.  Parental Alienation is the assassination of one parent’s good name and character for the sole, selfish purposes of depriving a child of a relationship with the other parent.  It’s “the bombing” of all the child’s positive feelings and memories of their other parent. 

Parental Alienation has been compared to cults while the actions of Cult Leaders are compared to the Alienator.  Just like a Cult Leader, a Parental Alienator indoctrinates their followers to believe in only them and that no one else matters or is safe.  But isn’t that what a Terrorist leader is? A Cult Leader for a fanatical group believes their way is the only way.  In some cases, this narcissism is so extreme that the alienator/terrorist will kill to get what they want.

A Parent who alienates their children from the other loving parent, barring no true and proven abuse has occurred, is doing the same thing.  The alienator is bribing and brainwashing their children and even brainwashing friends and family, to believe that the other parent is a worthless, terrible person who could never be trusted.  The alienator sets up extreme scenarios to push their campaign to destroy the other person, in much the way a terrorist incites their disciples to become suicide bombers and blow up others who do not believe their way. The alienator kills their child’s soul and heart, making sure that any feelings between the children and their other parent are destroyed.  Cult Leaders and Terrorists are really no different in their actions and thoughts.  It is all for them.

We need to stop these family terrorists from destroying any more children and their relationships with the other parent.  Terrorism, whether it is an assault on a nation or on a family, is a crime and should be penalized appropriately.  Until the courts and therapists appreciate the gravity of the Parental Alienator’s terrorist tactics, children and their Targeted Parents will continue to be decimated by narcissistic control freaks, i.e., the alienating abusive parents.