The Pressures of Christmas Etiquette

There’s nothing worse than the embarrassment of someone asking “How did you like the Christmas present I gave you?” and you can’t recall for the life of you what present you got. If you’re like me, you stand there fumbling around for an answer while you try to remember exactly which meaningless gift you got.

You know in the back of your mind that you would have said “thank you” when you received the gift so you’re wondering: Is this some kind of test? Christmas etiquette pressures us into smiling and feigning surprise and joy over gifts that are so meaningless we can’t even remember them.

 It perpetuates a false notion of generosity and worse yet, it becomes a holiday treadmill we can’t climb off because there is really no way to rebel against the unfairness built into it.

 No one is taught to say: “Gee, you know that gift you get me every year is really hurtful”—something I should have said long ago when my mother kept wrapping up those days-of-the-week underwear, which she placed under the Christmas tree every year with a tag that said they were from all of my brothers.  

 Then there are candles—how many candles can someone get for Christmas? If you ask me, I’d have to say countless. A few candles are fine. Current cuts off enough in this country that some strategically placed candles come in handy, but there are people who give candles every Christmas—and they aren’t even the scented ones.

 Cheap presents and gaudy trinkets abound at Christmas. The utter cheapness of it can be baffling. There will be people who know that I consider myself a coffee connoisseur who loves Starbucks and yet they will buy me a tin of coffee from Target.

So here's is my Christmas advice: gifts need  be something special and specific-not necessarily expensive, but always appropriate. They need to reflect your spirit of giving and your knowledge of the person you are buying the gift for. Buying a gift for the sake of buying is a waste of time. Great gifts don't have to be expensive. All it takes is some thought and consideration.