Human Cloning: Two is better than one

How many of you are at work today wish you had a stunt double, or better yet a clone? Yes fellow Americans, it is time this country had a human cloning lab. It would be as easy as going to Starbucks and buying your favorite latte.

It is generally understood that a sheep has been cloned, my question to these brilliant scientist who made this discovery is, “what about us?”

The relevant authorities need to step in now. Cloning should be made mandatory for both the rich and the poor. People should be allowed to use their food card to purchase their clones.

There are many benefits that can be derived from this breakthrough. Can you imagine what would happen to relationships and marriages? They would take on a whole new meaning. It would be like getting two for the price of one. Before committing, a woman can have her clone test the waters.

There would be no need for sick or vacation time in the work place. Our clones can fill in for us. We would all have a dependent to claim when the time comes around for income taxes.

A clone for Governor Mark Stanford could have filled in for him while he was in Argentina with his mistress, John Edwards could have blamed his clone for fathering a love child, Anthony Weiner would have been able to denied that it was his erect private parts concealed in a boxer found on twitter, Michelle Bachman could have blamed her clone for this, “Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful, but there isn’t one study that shows it is harmful gas.” Likewise, Sarah Palin could have also passed the buck to her clone for this, “But obviously, we got to stand with our North Korean allies.” Most importantly, Bill Clinton’s clone could have been on TV declaring it was he who, in fact had sex with Monica Lewinsky.

Finally, fellow Americans, given all the facts about how our lives would be greatly improved by having a clone, my question to you is, how should I send this letter entitled” Little Me” to Washington? Should it be faxed or e-mailed? You decide.