Play Date Safety
We have all had the "Stranger Danger" talk with our kids, and even the "Just Say No" conversation, but what have you told your kids about guns?
I grew up in Scotland where the only people that had guns were farmers and veterinarians to protect livestock and euthanize sick cows or horses. When I was a kid even the police were not armed.
Because of such strict gun laws there was very little gun crime in the UK, even now a gun crime will make national news because they are not frequent. Perhaps this is why I have a greater fear of guns than the majority of the population in the US.
When my kids started school and began to go on play dates, I was paranoid about them being in a house where there were guns; I would ask the mom if they had guns in the house and the reply was always the same – a stunned silence.
I offended some people by asking, but most of them were shocked that they had never thought to ask that question when sending their kids to a play date for the first time.
Kids are naturally very curious and if you have a cabinet where something is hidden away, they are going to want to check it out, maybe even show off to a friend. Younger children and teens still tend to think they are immortal; they are not capable of thinking about the implications of playing with something dangerous.
Why do some people find it so hard to ask if there are weapons in the house? Are we afraid of offending someone? What’s worse? Offending someone or your child being in a potentially harmful situation?
What have you done to protect your kids from weapons? Have you taught them what to do if they find a gun or if a friend is playing with one? Do you ask their friends' parents if they have weapons in the house and, if they do, would you ask to see how they are stored before letting your kid play there?
Here are some headlines about Connecticut children that have been victims of accidental gun crime.
What have you done to protect your kids from weapons? Have you taught them what to do if they find a gun or if a friend is playing with one? Do you ask their friends' parents if they have weapons in the house and, if they do, would you ask to see how they are stored before letting your kid play there?
Tell us in the comments.
Bill Fasula
10:58 am on Monday, January 23, 2012
Do you ask if they have smoke alarms, CO2 detectors, gas detectors? Do you ask if someone who lives in the house has ever been convicted of a sex crime? Do you ask if they have a pit bull? There are many greater risks than someone having a gun in their house.
Michelle Petroccio
9:56 am on Friday, January 27, 2012
Bill, I just wanted to say that I fortunately have a trained eye when it comes to looking for these things without even knowing I am doing it. My husband has been in the home and business security industry for many years, and I even find myself looking around in businesses to see what kind of security cameras they have installed so I can say to him 'gee I was in such and such a place today, maybe you should make a sales call on them and see if they need an upgrade'? My kids are even concious of smoke alarms and Co2 detectors. Even now that my kids are older, I am still on top of where they go and what kind of parents and homes they are visiting. It nvere hurts to be cautious. On the other hand, and back to the issue of guns, it has always been a safety issue we have discussed with ur children, and I do not and have not ever allowed them to play with any type of toy gun besides a water pistol, super soaker or nerf gun. They know the differences between fake and real, and have been taught to alert us if they are in a home where a gun may be present for any reason, including friends who have a prent on a police force.
RONALD M GOLDWYN
11:14 am on Monday, January 23, 2012
I'm now 74, and look back in my life to a day in the summer of 1943. I was on vacation in a little village of Old Forge NY The same place where I learned to ride a two wheeled bicycle just a week before. I was exploring a barn located behind the local bar and saw a shotgun standing up in the front right corner. Too me a 5 year old boy never saw a gun with two triggers, so without moving the shotgun I pulled both triggers and blasted a big hole in the barn's roof. I think the whole village came running to see what just had happened. As for myself the event is lodged in my memory. As the next decade went by, in every toy store and shop, toy guns, cap guns and BB guns were for sale. In the movies and on the new TVs we saw cowboys shooting their handguns and rifles. Then their were the war films and we learned who the enemy of our country were. In my closet I still have an old cap pistol.
When I became a teenager and was sent to summer camp, I became a NRA "Sharpshooter" using a .22cal rifle, and learned proper respect for firearms although I didn't own one.
The gun is part of American culture and our Constitution says that it is a right of every citizen to bear arms. I don't agree with the only US Supreme court decision on this subject, and have suggested that the sale of ammunition be regulated if we can't prevent the possession of guns. The police and I believe that if you point a gun at a person, you intend to kill them. That is one of the first things we learn.
RONALD M GOLDWYN
11:15 am on Monday, January 23, 2012
You must overcome your fear of guns in this country. we possess more guns than there are people living here. You can do one of two things. Either stick your head in the sand and think they will never harm me or my children, or you can educate your children to have respect for a gun should they ever see or come in contact with one.
What do you teach your children about automobiles. In this country, more people are killed by cars than by guns. We constantly hear of moms and dads running over their children. Do you ask if there is a car in the household or do you teach your kids about the possible danger they may confront without instilling a panic attack.
Gun owning parents must be held accountable while the gun is in their possession by locking them in safes and keeping the guns unloaded with the bullets in a different location
Doreen, Guns and cars are here to stay, you must learn to live with both of them.
Ed
12:52 pm on Monday, January 23, 2012
"What have you done to protect your kids from weapons?" you say?
I teach them that a gun, a baseball bat, a knife, a SUV, a lead pipe, etc, will never hurt you, the person holding it will. Beware of people that can hurt you. Stay away from unsavory people, that you are judged by the company you keep, And above all, never EVER let a liberal take away your Constitutional right to anything, as he/she WILL try to do, as long as you live, and they exist.
Vote accordingly.
PS- I don't own a gun, by choice (as of now)
John Tyler
1:49 pm on Monday, January 23, 2012
The National Rifle Association teaches children to call an adult if they see a gun. They also teach them to leave the gun alone. Most responsible gun owners keep their guns locked in a secure "gun box", or in a fireproof safe. Mother's (and Fathers) should learn about guns - how they operate, how they are loaded and how they are unloaded. They should also go to a firing range and take lessons in shooting and learn respect for hand guns and shoulder weapons. Then, much like road safety, they can instill in their children a respect for guns. Even if guns are outlawed in the United States, they will not go away. England's crime rate has spiraled upward since guns were outlawed, as has Australia's. Hoodlums, drug dealers and addicts,, and just plain "bad people" will always be with us. They will never turn in their firearms as they use them in their "trades". Don't teach your children to be afraid of firearms - they may use them in their adulthood to defend their families or the United States. Asking if there are guns in a house may not be a bad idea, but perhaps you should also ask if there is any marijuana, heroin, cocaine or crack, or perscription barbituates in the house.
Doreen Currie
8:39 pm on Monday, January 23, 2012
do you have statistics to back up your statement "England's crime rate has spiraled upward since guns were outlawed, as has Australia's." and does this mean conversely the crime rate in societies with legal guns has decreased?
The point of the article was to address one concern on play date safety, it was not the only safety concern I had when sending my kids on a play date, but this was the question I wanted to pose to other parents in this column.
M
9:13 pm on Monday, January 23, 2012
As a gun household I 100% agree with you. The gun we have is not here when my husband is gone but I still worry about it and have told parents we have a loaded gun in our house. I'm not even sure my kids know about it but I think they should. If you are a parent I would want to know what kind of people are at a house with my children. So if I don't know all adults well enough, my kids won't go to that house
Broke Dick Dad
9:59 pm on Monday, January 23, 2012
As a parent of young kids about to be old enough for sleepovers I have had these same questions and fears. My take away after reading this post and all its comments is that guns (and gun safety) are just one more thing about this dangerous world that I have to teach my kids. Thank you for posing the questions, at least it helped this parent.
RONALD M GOLDWYN
10:21 pm on Monday, January 23, 2012
Now you ask the other mother do you have a gun in this house and she lies and says no. She lied, does her answer make you feel better.
John Tyler
11:49 pm on Monday, January 23, 2012
Doreen,
Here you go - some statistics that you wanted:
"Nearly five centuries of growing civility ended in 1954. Violent crime has been climbing ever since. Last December, London's Evening Standard reported that armed crime, with banned handguns the weapon of choice, was "rocketing." In the two years following the 1997 handgun ban, the use of handguns in crime rose by 40 percent, and the upward trend has continued. From April to November 2001, the number of people robbed at gunpoint in London rose 53 percent.
Gun crime is just part of an increasingly lawless environment. From 1991 to 1995, crimes against the person in England's inner cities increased 91 percent. And in the four years from 1997 to 2001, the rate of violent crime more than doubled. Your chances of being mugged in London are now six times greater than in New York. England's rates of assault, robbery, and burglary are far higher than America's, and 53 percent of English burglaries occur while occupants are at home, compared with 13 percent in the U.S., where burglars admit to fearing armed homeowners more than the police. In a United Nations study of crime in 18 developed nations published in July, England and Wales led the Western world's crime league, with nearly 55 crimes per 100 people."
Alice
7:36 am on Tuesday, January 24, 2012
The quote above is meaningless if we don't know where it came from and when it was written. Can you provide the source, please, John?
Ron
7:59 am on Tuesday, January 24, 2012
If you don't know the family well enough to trust them with firearms in the house, what makes you think they trust you enough to tell you they do have firearms and give you the location and means with which they secure them? For all they know, YOU are a dirtbag just scoping their house trying to find out if they have guns, where they keep them and if they are loaded or not !
Elizabeth Hoskins
9:55 am on Tuesday, January 24, 2012
I totally agree with you Doreen. As a parent of 3 small ones, I will definitely ask if there are guns in their household. I haven't reached the point yet where i just drop my kids off at someone's house to play, I still go with them, but when that time comes, I will be asking if there are guns. You do need to teach your kids about guns, safety.....but no matter how much you teach them, kids ARE curious and impulsive, and think they're invincible, and may think they can just handle the gun and not pull the trigger.....
Thanks for this important piece Doreen, I will be asking parents in the future if there are guns in their homes....
Lise Cavallaro
11:20 am on Tuesday, January 24, 2012
When my kids were of play date age, I always had to meet the parent(s) before leaving them. I can't tell you how many times my kids friends were just dropped off without meeting me or my husband. If we are asking about guns, do we ask about drugs, alcohol, etc.?
John Tyler
2:39 pm on Tuesday, January 24, 2012
As Doreen started off her article with her telling of how low gun crime was in Scotland and intimated that she is now quite worried about guns in the home in the United States. I agreed with her that it "is not a bad idea" to ask about guns in the home that her children are visiting. Further down in the article it states "Here are some headlines about Connecticut children that have been victims of accidental gun crime" - well, there were headlines, but they were all about children in other states, not one about children in Connecticut. At least Patch could keep from distorting the facts. Alice, you asked a good question. I suggest you search for "Crime in England" on your computer - there you will find both pro and con concerning crime in England, including gun crime. You can believe what you want, I'll believe what I want. No argument. I gave some good advice for parents about guns. Today I believe that there are more dangerous objects in homes than guns. I listed some of them. Are there illegal drugs in Branford? I suggest you read the newspapers. What's in the cabinet under your kitchen sink? Doreen has a very good idea, but she pounded on guns and forgot all of the other dangerous, and more accessible items in the home.
Doreen Currie
4:26 pm on Tuesday, January 24, 2012
sorry the link did not work, however if you scroll to the bottom of the page you were directed to, you can filter by state and this will give you statistics for Connecticut.
The point of the article was to address one aspect of safety concern for play dates, it does not imply this was my only concern.
Michelle Petroccio
9:59 am on Friday, January 27, 2012
Great article Doreen! You have really brought out some very strong points that most parents probably don't even consider, and take them either for granted or just don't think of to begin with. I find a majority of the kids my kids associate with to have parents from our social circle.
Krista Surprenant
8:37 pm on Friday, January 27, 2012
It is important to know about the houses where our children are spending time. I grew up in a small PA town where hunter safety was part of our school day and we had the first day of major hunting seasons off from school since so many people hunted. If we had a gun in our house, I never knew about it. However, because of the numerous safety talks my parents had with me and the school also addressed it, I think it made a difference. The culture was also different as it was normal and some guns were on display- but I never once encountered a situation where I felt I was in an unsafe situation. It all depends on the attitudes of the people around you.